Yaoi Manga
by Foxgurl
Summary: How many times must Hikaru and Kaoru get into stuff they're not supposed to! It's ok, right, to be different? The same? Just a bunch of HikaruXKaoru stories, some fluff, some not so fluff. Enjoy.
1. Yaoi Manga

A/N: These are just a small collecting of HikaruXKaoru stories I wrote after being introduced to the pairing by my best friend, so I guess I dedicate the majority to her. Some are short, some are long. I do realize that they are brothers but the fact that they act the way they do and the fact that they are just both so adorable, I made an exception to my "I-hate-incest-yaoi" motto. -shrugs- But that's my choice, if you don't like this kind of stuff, scram cause I won't tolerate flames. I'm not a lenient person when it comes to people saying crap about my likes and dislikes. Constructive Criticism, on the other hand, is welcomed.

This story takes place when they're kids! HAVE FUN!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Bwah.

-------**_Yaoi Manga_**--------

"MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYY!"

A small dash; a blur of orange... or maybe was it pink? Nothing in pursuit. Just running away; possibly from an imaginary monster. Slower now, maybe tired. Deep breaths now, gotta run faster. Faster Faster Faster!

Kaoru hit a corner, slowed slightly as he started to slide then sprinted like hell down the longest corridor for probably the fifteenth time that day. Mom and Dad were throwing a rich fancy party. No kids. Not like it stopped him before. Bursting through the door in a rather dramatic way, all grew silent. The once conversating adults turned their partially stunned gazes to the young boy who was panting like crazy and looking around in almost a desperate manner. The music, once being played with a fine rhyme, grew out of proportion, slowing becoming chaotic enough to dim to a single violinist who seemed to have forgotten himself. He just kept playing whilst looking at the boy in a perplex manner, not really minding that his cords were completely off and his notes sounded much like a cat scratching a black board. Quickly shaking his head, Kaoru spotted the desired persons and darted over to them, grabbing the hand of possibly the most elegant woman in the whole room. Shaking her entire arm so that her bracelets jingled, almost as if tugging on a rag doll, the boy spoke.

"Mommy! Mommy! Hikaru! He... he..."

The woman's face slowly contorted into that of a worried mother instead of a prestige lady. Stooping down so that she was eyelevel with the child, she took his face gently in her hands and tried to calm him.

"Yes, yes, Hikaru? Is he ok? You can tell me, Kaoru, just take a deep breath now..." she whispered softly, masking her concern as to not startle and further distress the poor boy.

Kaoru sniffled slightly then tightened his grip on the woman's hand.

"Hikaru... well, he said... he said..."

There was a pause. Almost an act of uncertainty. A sigh came from the boy with the shocking orange hair. The once emotionally frustrated child sat on the floor, beckoning for the woman to do the same. A pow-wow of sorts. No one in the room dared to breath. What the boy had to say surely had to have been important for such an outburst in a highly regarded party suite. Kaoru's eyebrows furrowed together as he grew a very serious look on his face.

"Mother, Hikaru wished me to inform you that we are homosexual with each other and although we may be identical twins, he and I are to elope come the age of seven. We would like to live in the mountains and possibly adopt. He wants to know if you have a blessing to bestow upon us regarding the peculiar circumstances."

A loud gasp ran throughout the room like wildfire and whispers quickly erupted like an explosion of nuclear bombs. A child! A child said that! Elopement? Unheard of! Kaoru and Hikaru? What nonsense! Adoption! Oh the horror!

The woman holding the hand of the small boy didn't seem fazed at all as she dainty sighed and picked herself up to her feet. Looking down at the now wide eyed optimistic looking child, she tried to retain her calm posture.

"Kaoru, honey, how many times has Mommy told you and Hikaru not to read Mommy's yaoi manga...?"


	2. Just a little strange

A/N: Gahhhhh!! –floats around in all her reviews- I'm so HAPPY right now!! Wahhhh, I was going to wait for more reviews but because I got so much on just the first chapter, I'm letting the second one out!! This is for all my lovely reviewers by request! I hope you enjoy! Erk, and sorry if I got haircolor wrong, I always get them confused!

Remember: They are current age now. Yatta. BlondeTamaki, BrunetteHaruhi.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. He... I will someday.

**_----Just a Little Strange---_**

"Isn't it weird?"

"Is what weird?"

The blonde boy gave the girl beside him a look of unceremonious dull eyes. Even the dark haired cross dresser couldn't be that thick headed. Extending a finger to two figures in front of them, the blonde continued.

"You can't tell me that's normal," he stated rather flatly as the girl followed his finger to see what exactly he was pointing to.

In the courtyard, within ear shot and eye shot of the two spread out uncaringly across the bench, stood two boys, locked together in a lovers embrace. The taller of the two gently reached down and brushed silky pink hair away from the face of the one clutched firmly in his grip. The boy giggled softly and murmured a quiet, 'oh you!' before leaning up to snuggle the neck of the blue haired boy, who in turn, gripped the waist of the pink haired boy and pulled them closer together. This caused a lovely crimson to light up the face of the shorter gentleman.

"I can't stand it any longer, I need you now," came the husky sigh of the taller male, dipping down to lay well thought out kisses on the others neck.

The pink haired boy moaned softly in response and tried halfheartedly to pull away.

"No Hikaru, no! Not in a place like this! Everyone can see us!" he wailed, only blushing deeper as the other grabbed him by the back of his neck to force him closer.

"I don't care about other people, Kaoru, can't you see? You're the only one I truly care about!"

Feet shuffled as the two fought almost desperately to be closer together. Hips collided and soft moans of passion could be heard.

"Oh Kaoru..."

The blue haired boy flustered as the boy in his arms dragged his hands, almost unbearably slow, down his chest, coming to rest around his navel.

"Oh Hikaru..."

The cropped brown hair of the girl rustled ever so slightly in the wind as she watched the scene played out before her eyes. She cocked her head to one side. Then to the other. Then back to the first side again. She scratched her head then turned her attention to the blonde man beside her.

"...yeah so?"

The blonde gave her a 'you-are-so-hopeless' look before shaking his head and turning his attention elsewhere.

"Would it make a difference if I told you they were brothers?"

"...so... are you trying to tell me that they're like... rednecks or something? 'Cause I'm failing to make the connection here. What's so bad? Are they under aged? Or maybe it's their hair; we're not allowed to dye our hair at this school? So many rules! Gah!! I was thinking about dying my hair red! We must bring this up with the board! This is unheard of!!"

"...curse you, yaoi wonders of the world... curse you..."

-------Yar


	3. Mirror Mirror

A/N: This story is, by far, the shortest and most confusing story yet. It was inspired by me looking at a mirror (a given) and thinking how cool it would be if my reflection just started to come out towards me. –shrugs- Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I pwn at video games, yet I own none of these spiffy characters.

-----**_Mirror Mirror_**-----

A mirror stood at the edge of the room. Reflected in its almost puzzling structure stood a man. Not a burly man, yet not an entirely effeminate man. Yet a man all the same. Or perhaps it was a boy... caught between the border separating the men from the boys.

Clever things, mirrors were. If you stood in front of one too long, you might begin to believe there's another being in there. Gently ghosting a hand over the invisible layer in the mirror, the boy stared in wonder at boy inside who almost appeared to be mimicking him. Running a hand through his slightly spiky hair, he let it silently fall to trail along his face over his bright and seemingly innocent eyes down to his lips. They weren't full but then again, they were far from thin. He let his fingertips rest there for a bit before closing his eyes and letting out a gentle sigh. No alarm rang through his body as he felt two gangly arms wrap around his middle, pulling him forward. He just let his eyes flutter open, only to go half-lidded in adoration as the boy in the mirror gently traced patterns across his hips, a sly smirk gracing his pale face.

Was it so odd?

The boy leaned forward and pressed his head to the mirror boy's bangs. Reaching into the mirror, his arms sought there way around the chest of the other, pulling him out of his imprisonment. Stepping gracefully through the rims of the mirror, the identical boy smiled and led the other away from the reflecting contraption towards the other end of the room. As the two climbed into a bed almost twice their size, a curious white mouse scampered across the floor towards the mirror, its whiskers swishing from side to side. It picked itself up onto its hind legs and gazed at the mirror thoughtfully. Only, it did not see a reflection. In fact, it saw nothing at all. Climbing up the rims of the mirror, the mouse tossed its head from side to side before tenderly poking its head through the rims.

No glass.

Quickly climbing down the opposite side of the mirror, it fled into a hole in the wall, not daring to look back at the mirror with no glass.

----No nunca nada


	4. Curious?

A/N: Wrote this one in the middle of the night when I was wondering, wouldn't it be crazy doing stuff with someone who looked like an exact replica of you? FREAKY!! This one is pretty out there. Oh and one more this before I post this... sweatdrops Miyamashi, do be COMPLETELY honest with you, I can see where you'd think the second chapter would be kinda awkward because... dun dun dun, I have NEVER EVER EVER, read Ouran Host Club. -gasps loudly- These little stories were originally written for my friend because she loved the pairing and I wanted to give her something nice (since she's always making me AMVs). I did lots of research on the people... I read up on all the characters at wikipedia and saw AMVs on the twins and thought they were extremely entertaining. She loved them so much she wanted me to post them... so here I am. Well I guess the cat's out of the bag, I hope nobody is too mad at me, I really do like the concept of Ouran Host Club, which is why I WANT to read it. Sadly, I haven't yet and have only been able to watch a few episodes of the anime. I'm pathetic. And it's also why the twins may be a little... OOC... sorry about that too. I hope you guys still read this...

Disclaimer: Yo no tengo Hikaru o Kaoru. Hikaru con Kaoru es muy caliente. Hehehe...

----**_Curious?_**----

"I wonder what it would be like..."

Hikaru turned the page of his book before glancing over its frame to stare at his brother. He settled back into the pillows and hummed in contentment, resting the back of his neck against the palm of his hand. He began to read aloud.

"Those who question the obvious around them are oblivious," he stated in a rather sophisticated voice, smirking superiorly as his twin huffed and threw himself into the bed beside him.

"Stop being smart, you big faker, I bet you don't even know what you just said," Kaoru muttered, grinning slightly as his brother's face quickly went from smug to blank in two seconds, "Besides, it not that I don't know what I'm wondering, I'm just curious as to what it would be like..."

Hikaru frowned and set his book down on Kaoru's face as the boy snuggled his waist affectionately with a sly smile.

"Wonder what it would be like to do what?" he asked, hoping to coax his brother into telling him something stupid he would later regret.

"Oh nothing nothing..."

Hikaru snorted and slammed the book down harder on his twins face. The boy howled in pain then made a mad dash for the book, snatching it and bonking it across Hikaru's forehead with at least twice the strength administered to the first blow.

"Ow, that hurt!" he cried, staring accusingly at Hikaru who was now sporting a lovely goose egg.

The boy wriggled his nose and rubbed the red spot on his forehead. Quickly opting to not get into a pissing match, he allowed his eyes to go half-lidded with clearly forced lust.

"You think that didn't affect me at all, damn Kaoru. Well that's alright, I'll get you back in bed later tonight..." he whispered seductively, only earning a pout.

Kaoru, much to his brother's surprise, didn't partake in the usual 'I'm-gay-you're-gay-we're-gay-together' act. In fact, even MORE to his brother's disbelief, Kaoru went over to the window and rested his hands against the sill in an almost angered gesture. Hikaru frowned and lay back down on the bed, placing his hands behind his head in utter disregard of the situation. Kaoru took a breath this sighed rather obnoxiously.

"You're so stupid, Hikaru," he said, eyes not daring to leave the smudged glass that served as a barrier between him and the ground below.

Hikaru shrugged and tried not to get stingy. Maybe Kaoru was just on his time of the month.

"Well tell me, dearest brother, what exactly were you thinking that led us to such a predicament?" the uncaring boy said drolly, not particularly interested whether or not his question was left unanswered.

A long period of silence overruled the two. It got to a point where Hikaru felt his eyelids droop in weariness. He was about to sink off into 'la-la-land' when a voice, small to the average person but booming to the half-awake teen, tore him from his sleep.

"I was just wondering... what it would be like... to do it..."

Hikaru blinked himself awake and stared at his brother in confusion.

"Yah mean like... the shabang shabang? The horizontal tango? The love game? The mommy and daddy baby maker? The--"

"Yeah that."

Hikaru barely caught a glimpse of a blush across his brother's cheeks. A real blush. Not the rosy pink tint he got when they were acting stupid and pretended to be lovers. Not the flaming red face he got when he was angry. But a genuine blush. Hikaru closed his eyes and smirked. So much for the innocent Kaoru.

"I suppose it would be like masturbating except for with another person," he replied oh-so-brilliantly.

Kaoru tossed him a glance that read "Oh-wow-you're-smart" then sighed and flopped down onto his brother's stomach Indian style.

"That's not exactly what I meant... you see, when I say I wonder what it would be like to do it... I mean I really wanna know what it would be like to do it with someone who looked exactly like you. Yah know? Would it be awkward because you look alike? Would you feel as if you were caressing a mirror image of yourself or would you feel as though you were touching a completely other person? That sort of thing..."

Hikaru blinked again, taking it all in. Yes, that would be something to ponder about. Hikaru thought about the concept for a moment but stopped shortly after for fear his brains might scramble. Instead, he chose to shake his head and smirk, eyeing his brother with a rather mischievous look. Kaoru quickly felt his face fluster as his brother leaned forward and grabbed the edge of his chin, holding him strictly in place. He became more aware of his brother's intentions when he felt Hikaru raise his legs so that he was in a slightly provocative situation.

"Well, you know, we could find out right now if you really wanted to test that theory of yours..."

----No mas.


	5. Sadness

A/N: Helllllllllo guys. Ne, ne... a'fore I start this story I got three things to say. 1) It's kinda short so I will be updating a new chapter briefly after this one. 2) I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY HATE, DESPISE LOATH ENTIRELY HIKARUXHARUHI. It makes me want to slice out my intestines, boil them in a stew full of my own vomit then feed it to the creator of Ouran Highschool Host club for being dropped on his/her head and coming up with the idea that "Oh, I think I'll make Hikaru fall for Haruhi." Makes me sick. (sorry for being graphic... –sweatdrop-) And 3) ...I adore Kyouya. –sighs- For what he has to go through with Tamaki, he deserves a metal. That is all I have to say for now. Enjoy this story, it was inspired through my hatred for HikaruxHaruhi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran.

Featured through Kaoru's P.O.V.

_**---Sadness--- **_

It's just a little sad.

Watching you with her, smiling the way you used to smile at me.

It's just a little sad.

That we sit on the swings, swaying back and forth in the wind with little words to exchange. It never used to be this way. Now grim faces, contorted with awkwardness and insecurity, overrule our normally cheerful, even somewhat devious features.

It's just a little heartbreaking...

That I must force a smile when I tell the others that we just needed some time apart, time to find out exactly who we are and for what reason, we exist.

It's just a little depressing...

Having to tell our rabid fan girls that we would no longer perform for them. To see their crushed faces. I think some of them actually depended on us daily for something that would brighten their otherwise pain filled lives... after all...

They were strange. Strange... like us.

It's just a bit sadist...

How you look right through me instead of at me. Am I truly that horrifying to you?

It's just a tad bit gut wrenching...

How you had hit me across the face, a bloody crimson color spreading across your angered features.

It was somewhat frightening...

When you yelled curse words at me... cursing me, cursing yourself, cursing us...

It was just a little tragic...

To watch your face melt into a painfully confused expression as you sunk to your knees, tears now streaming down your face as you ask that one question I find myself asking everyday, 'Why...?'

It was just a little emotional...

To watch your cracked features turn as solid as ice as you picked yourself up off the floor, casting me a nasty glance.

I still remember the words you spoke to me...

"You and I... are no longer brothers."

It was just a little sad...

How you left me to fiddle with these emotions that I didn't understand... alone.

It was just a little sad...

That I cried my eyes out, screaming and pleading for god to help fix me, to make me right again.

It was just a little sad...

To feel this empty void that we once shared. Did it always make you feel so hollow when you were alone...?

It's just a little heartbreaking...

How you made me feel, the moment I said, I love you.

**_---End_**


	6. Dead of Night

A/N: -laughs empty mindedly- This is possibly my most plot less oneshot thingy yet. Inspiration: I took a shower. Enjoy and Review.

Disclaimer: ...nada. Yo tengo nada. NUNCA NADA!!! YO NUNCA TENGO NADA!!! POR QUE?!?! –sighs- Yo no tengo mucho dinero. Que triste. (yeah, me just rambling in Spanish, don't even worry yourselves over trying to understand)

_**---Dead of Night---**_

Haruhi gently ran her hands through her soft damp hair. Taking showers in the dead of night was always so relaxing, no boys to worry about... and the cool air after stepping out of the delightfully warm atmosphere always made her body tingle. She sighed and cherished the silence the hallways of the dormitories provided. The moonlight shining through the tinted windows, casting an arrangement of ghoulish shadows in every which direction, only added to the thrill of her midnight stroll.

'It's a wonder it's so quiet with all these boys running amuck... at least Tamaki is giving me some breathing space...' she thought absentmindedly.

But it really was nice... the quiet. She was used to conversations and spewing nonsense being blown into her ears. That's why she was surprised when she slumped against the wall, towel drying her hair, and began to feel the floor beneath her begin to tremble slightly. She froze and glanced down at her bare toes, concentrating for a while before passing it off as nothing. She dried her body, not even minding the fact that if someone just happened to walk down the corridor, she would be flashing them with a very naked female self. She even began to hum a few tunes.

But then... there went the trembling again.

This time, Haruhi stood completely still, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Perhaps there was a peeping Tom... no, he wouldn't be making that much of a ruckus. But what on earth could that be? Haruhi gathered her towel and strapped it more firmly around her body, walking towards the noise with a confident gleam in her eyes. She was going to find out whether it killed her or not. She was about to turn down another section of the split dormitories when the stampeding of feet could be heard clearly. She barely had time to gasp and turn her vision before she saw two blurs dart completely past her, ruffling her towel and hair. Laughter filled the void of silence as did the completely barbaric manner in which the two boys carried themselves.

But that's not what caught the girl's attention. Oh no.

Seeing these two acting like complete morons was normal. After all, even without being able to see them directly in the dark night, Haruhi could pin point the two as Hikaru and Kaoru. But as said, she was used to their stupidity.

Yes, in fact, the only reason why the girl was in a stupor was because the two said boys were running and laughing down the hallway in the middle of the night... completely nude. Not to mention holding hands and hooting and hollering.

"YEAH YEAH, I'M ONE SMEXY BITCH, YO!!" came the distant voice of Hikaru.

Haruhi didn't even have time to blink before she heard the second voice.

"OOUUUU, YAH YAH!!! SO SEXY, I COULD JUST LICK YOUR SEXY NAKKY BODY FROM HEAD TO TOE!!!"

Kaoru.

"OU OU!!! LET'S LET'S!!!"

Hikaru.

"Ouuuuu whhooooo, you know what THAT can lead to, right Hikaru?"

Kaoru.

"All I know is you better brace yourself tonight, my shameless Kaoru! You're in for the ride of your life!!!"

Hikaru.

Then the voices, laughter, and stampeding all dwindled to a mere nothingness, leaving the poor girl to not only get over the traumatic experience of seeing two of her close friends dressing in nothing but their birthday suits, but to figure out her next course of action. She grimaced and let her towel slump slightly, trying to gather whatever wit she had. She rubbed her eyes, paused, then rubbed them again, forming stiff legs to carry her back to her room. She didn't get far, though, without confronting Tamaki. Frankly, he had the same expression Haruhi wore and the girl couldn't help but wonder why.

"...hey, what's up?" she muttered, dismissing the fact that she was naked underneath her towel which she now held to her like a life guard.

Tamaki stared blankly at her.

"Not much, not much..."

...awkward silence.

"Hey... you didn't happen to see... er, nevermind I must be going crazy..." Tamaki started unsurely, rubbing the back of his head as if stumped.

"Why?" Haruhi asked in a flat voice.

Tamaki shrugged.

"I swear I keep seeing Kaoru and Hikaru frolicking about the dorms... naked," he spewed, as if what he spoke was the most absurd thing he's ever said.

Haruhi's eyes lit up in surprise.

"WHAT YOU TOO?!"

_**---Fin**_

_**(P.S. I promise my next oneshot for this story will have more meaning and may possibly be more random. You know, to jazz it up a little. Please inform my if you think my stories are getting dumber, I get inspiration from reviews sometimes.)**_


	7. Simple Hatred

A/N: Upon request, another chapter is posted. I wrote this one not long after writing my angsty Kaoru story. I didn't like the ending cause I frankly could never see Hikaru hitting Kaoru. However, it made for a good ending, at least in my mind. Plus, I was depressed over the whole HikaruHaruhi thing (which doesn't exist cause Hikaru loves Kaoru, you could say I'm in denial) So anyways, I thought I'd separate the two with a funny story. But this is the follow up of 'Sadness' and it's from **HIKARU'S POV**!!!! So yeah, don't get confused. I'm going to be posting two more stories after this, both funny. So bear with me through this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High characters. (and for those who slightly understood my rambling Spanish, this is basically what I was saying, adding in my few quirks such as 'Kaoru with Hikaru is hot' 'Kaoru con Hikaru son caliente' Ja. Eat stroodle.)

**_---Simple Hatred---_**

I hate it.

The way you move is different. The way you act is different. The way you talk is different. Why? Because of her, I hate it. I hate her... but I love her. She was the only one... the only one who could tell us that we were different and mean it. You think I like her for this... and I do. I appreciate it. We are DIFFERENT after all... but... no matter how much we know about each other, I can't help but feel that you know nothing. I love her... but not like that. I am grateful to her, to be sure, but you do not understand. You think it is because I have feelings for her. You're wrong... so wrong... and this is why you act indifferent towards me. Although we put on our little shows as usual, hold each other, embrace each other... your grip is a little less tight and your words, a little more drone.

Nobody notices, after all, we are acting. Acting like we do everyday... however, "acting" for us is so very different than perceived. Our "acting" is really our form of expressing our love for each other... but ever since that day... Our acting became just that, acting. You don't make it obvious... and it isn't. To anyone, that is, except me. I can read you like a book. You think I like her and you're trying not to show your anger... your betrayal, your sadness.

And for that, I hate her.

She has taken you from me in a sense. She has plagued your mind, even go to lengths to rob you of it. How can you not see? It is not her to whom I cherish and adore... it is you. The one who has been with me since I can remember. The one who has stood by me, comforting me, supporting me. You were the one who made me to realize, I have someone more important than the world to me. It was you.

You think that just because I am grateful towards her, I have feelings for her.

How could you be so stupid...?

I hate it.

The way you try not to bring it up, and if it arises, you try to fight it off, make pretend that you are not sad then try to engage me in a different conversation. You try not to cry... you try not to look down at the floor and obtain a troubled face. You try to smile... to laugh, to make jokes... but you are so transparent it is actually painful for me to watch.

But what is more painful... is not being able to tell you, you're wrong.

And even more painful than that... to not be able to tell you, you're my most precious person...

You would call me a liar.

Tell me it's wrong and that I SHOULD like Haruhi, for the best.

We should forget we ever had feelings for each other... there is no way we would be accepted as we are. We are different yet the same... we carry the same genes, the same face... yet we are different.

If we are different, why can we not love each other?

It gnaws away at my being, reminds me constantly that we cannot go on "acting" as we do now. We cannot be together in the same room. We can't be in the same classes, share the same bed, or even share the same friends...

Because... that would only draw us closer together.

I hate it. I hate this.

This life is confusing enough without having you by my side. Don't leave me. Stay with me. I don't love her, I love you. I don't care that we are the same, we are different after all. Just stay with me...

Don't leave me here alone.

Because... I find I would hate that most of all.

**---End**


	8. Porn

A/N: PORN!!! YAY!!! So this is my happy one cause I'm an emo kid (not really, I loath emos sometimes, but not all the time, they make really good friends) and I wrote two emo stories. No mas emos. I am HAPPY!!!! Woot. So I wrote about Porn. Not really but seriously, it's the shit. Just kidding. Not really. Anyways, I hope you guys like this! Love YOU ALL!! You guys are the best!!! And this is dedicated to ALL my faithful reviewers. P.S. I made an AMV for my one story if you would like to check it out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran. It would be nice though. Cause then I'd make Hikaru love Kaoru back.

_**----Porn----**_

"Today we will be making a list of events for the host club. Doing the same thing over and over again, that's not what the host club is all about."

All eyes were on Tamaki as he stood, rather importantly, at the head of the table. All around him, the host club members watched with rather grim faces. Change their daily rituals? But why? The girls didn't seem to complain, why change now?

"Any suggestions?" the blonde continued, a surprisingly serious expression on his face.

Silence.

"Let's having a sewing circle! Then we can make all the cute little stuffed animal bunnies and puppies and kitties and froggies and goaties and monkies..."

"Eh, Hunny, how about we save what you do in your spare time for later..."

Silence.

"Well, we could have an auction of our stuff. You know, the things we don't use and the girls would find rather appealing sitting next to their shrines of us..."

"Kyoya, I expected more from you."

Silence.

"..."

"Excellent idea Mori, we'll add that on the list as soon as possible. Any more bright suggestions?"

Silence.

Longer period of silence.

"OH MY GOSH!!!" Kaoru suddenly exploded, jumping to his feet with Hikaru right on his tail.

"WE'VE GOT A BRILLENT IDEA!!!" Hikaru sang, gripping his brother by the waist.

The two beamed in all their glory, nodding their nods and looking around as if seeking applauds for their wonderfully flawless idea. The host club stared at them for a bit. Tamaki raised an eyebrow.

"Well...?"

Hikaru grinned and forcefully tilted Kaoru chin up towards his face, grabbing the small of his back and forcing their hips together. Kaoru gasped and shook slightly, a faint crimson coming to rest upon his cheeks.

"You know Kaoru, love, I wouldn't mind all too much if the Host Club just 'happened' to spy on us as we commenced with our... late night activities..." Hikaru breathed, gently playing with Kaoru's wispy locks of hair.

"Oh Hikaru, I would be so embarrassed! Especially when you touch me... 'there'. You know... that certain spot. It always makes me tremble with want and desire... to have that caught on tape then sold to our fan girls? I would die!" Kaoru murmured as Hikaru placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

The older twin chuckled softly.

"You think I care? When you call out my name with such abandonment, it sends shivers down my spine! Making love to you, Kaoru, is the only thing that completes my life... if I could, I would want to take you everyday but... we just can't seem to squeeze in that extra time with the host club and all..."

Kaoru blinked his eyes then cupped a hand over his mouth.

"But if we WERE to make a tape of our love, we'd be doing Host Club AND spending cherished time together! Oh Hikaru, you're so smart... so wise... and sexy when you're right..." Kaoru whispered, reaching up and undoing Hikaru's buttoned up shirt just enough to clamp his mouth onto his brother's neck and give a soft suck.

Hikaru hummed slightly in pain but smirked, running his hands through his brother's hair as he proceeded to give the elder twin a hicky. As the two engaged a little more deeply into their... "play", the host club just sat and stared. And stared some more... Hunny even tilted his head to stare at a different angle. Kyoya blinked several times then began jotting down notes.

"Hikaru and Kaoru porno, check."

---

A/N: XP


	9. Fast Food

A/N: -had a panic attack- Oh. My. God. Guys, I was freaking out so bad! I thought I had lost this story and it's one of my favorites!!!! Damn, I would have been so upset! Well, this is the last story of this freaky little chain of sinful delights! I might start a new one if I'm feeling inspired. But today I was like O.O when I saw all my comments for this little thing. You could say I was in comment heaven. –sighs lovingly and floats around- You all make me so happy! –squee- So anyways, this one is the most randomest thing. Yar. But originally makes up for a lot. Plus I love burger king. haha, oh, and the girl at the end would be me... if I worked at burger king. . Woot! Enjoy! Review! I love you all! Yar and I fixed Porn. . Mah bad.

_**-----Fast Food------**_

"Hi! My name's Kaoru, may I take your order?"

Hikaru sulked quietly in his corner, watching as his brother quickly pressed buttons on the cash register with soft "clinks". The cheerful expression the younger twin held was almost sickening, especially when he smiled as the customer came to the pick up window to gather their meal.

"Thank you for coming to Burger King!" he sang with the sweetest voice, again turning back to the cash register, "Hi! My name's Kaoru, how can I help you?"

Hikaru groaned and rubbed his head, tugging his hat down over his eyes. Why were they here in a fast food restaurant, working the pickup window? The clock in the small room slowly ticked by. It only adding to the older boy's irritation as he twitched upon hearing Kaoru, yet again, ask for the person's order. It was enough to drive a man to drink. Hi my name is Kaoru! Hi my name is Kaoru! Hi my name is Kaoru! Hi my name is Kaoru! Hikaru quickly covered his ears and groaned again. Haruhi had suggested the two try out the real life of a normal person.

'Get a job' she huffed in annoyance as they had bugged her continuously about why she would want to work so badly, 'It's how normal people get money.'

So here they were. They got up at 5 o'clock and took showers. They got dressed in the itchy uniform. They arrived at work late and got scolded for putting on the itchy uniform wrong. They already messed up two orders and drove a young boy to tears when they had put a girl's toy in his kid's meal. They couldn't go to the bathroom. They had to be polite and cheerful to every damn thing that moved. No lunch break, compliments of being late. The only break they got from this hell trip was that they got to work together in the pickup lane. Then again, it was more than likely a fluke seeing how none of their co-workers could tell them apart. Hikaru puffed out his cheeks then took a keen interest in a dust particle that floated by. He blew some air out his nose and watched in fascination as the dust bit spiraled through the air, putting on almost an elaborate dance for the daydreaming teen. It spun and twirled and did acrobatics.

'...m... pretty,' Hikaru thought empty-mindedly.

He only came out of his little fantasy when he felt something collide with his head. A couple blinks and quick look proved it to be none other than a plastic cup... no... not even a plastic cup. It was like a Styrofoam cup... man, normal people were poor. They couldn't even afford plastic cups. It was almost sad...

"Hikaru."

Hikaru paused in his mindless thinking to look up at his brother. Kaoru, who once possessed a pleasant expression, was now frowning down at him. Hikaru grinned.

"What? No more customers? Does that mean we get a break?" he asked in mock cheer, stretching slightly as he shifted to get more comfortable on the cardboard boxes he sat on.

Kaoru huffed.

"No, there's no customers. But the next one that comes up is yours, you haven't done anything but sit there," he sighed, plopping down on Hikaru's lap, "My legs are killing me. I don't think I've ever stood up that long just... standing there."

Hikaru chuckled and played with his brother's hair.

"That even didn't make sense. Besides, it serves you right. You were the one who took up Haruhi's advice to get a job. Geesh, you sound like a nagging wife," he said playfully, earning a glare from Kaoru.

"Well what does that make you? Surely you can't be the husband 'cause the husband would have been working all day and you most certainly are not," he retorted, grinning as Hikaru buried his face in his back and groaned.

"I don't wanna work! This is boring and hard! When is it break time?" he whined, frowning as the drive by camera showed a car coming up.

Kaoru smirked and prodded Hikaru's forehead. Hikaru pouted.

"Well I can't do a damn thing if you're sitting on me," he hissed, shoving his brother off his lap and rising to walk over to the order-taking-thingy.

Kaoru had laughed when he told him the name for the device. It made sense to Hikaru though. It was an order taking... thingy. It took people's orders. Sighing, Hikaru slide it over his head and waited. Kaoru just sat on the boxes and smiled at his twin, probably contemplating different ways Hikaru would screw up. The boy just rolled his eyes.

"Welcome to Burger King," he stated in a monotone, "My name is Hikaru. Are you ready to order?"

There was a long pause where the customer looked at the list, making small "tut"ing noises and "hmm"s and "maybe this... no wait, maybe that..."s. Hikaru felt his left eye twitch slightly in annoyance as he leaned against the cash register.

"Sir, are you ready to order?" he asked dryly, earning a slightly surprised "oh!"

"Sorry Sorry, I didn't know it was my turn."

Hikaru groaned mentally and rubbed his head. You're at the ordering booth and you didn't know it was your turn? God damn the stupid people.

"It's alright, Sir, do you know what you want?" Hikaru asked patiently, however, patience only ran for so long.

He could feel his being plucked away by the minute.

"Well, how's the Whooper?"

Hikaru tugged on his hair in irritation. Kaoru giggled slightly.

"I don't know, Sir, I don't eat fast food," Hikaru replied in a high-strung voice.

The man again made a thoughtful sound then quieted, as if looking back over the list. Hikaru turned to his twin and mouthed out, 'Kill me now, please.' Kaoru just shook his head from side to side and grinned even wider.

"Do you guys sell chicken here?" the man asked.

Hikaru felt his last nerve being dangerously plucked on.

"Sir," he started out slowly, "This is BURGER King. We sell BURGERS. BURGERS equal BEEF. Chicken, Sir, is not beef."

"Oh, ok, then I'll just go to Chick-fil-a. Thanks!"

Hikaru tore the order-taking-thingy from his ear and flung it at the ground. He growled loudly and stomped in a circle, spewing curse words at the ceiling as the man who had tried to place the order drove by. Hikaru made a dash for the window and chucked the order-taking-thingy at the guy's car, smirking slightly when it hit it. He cackled evilly as sirens started going off, then as the man's outraged voice made an appearance.

"HAHA SERVES YOU RIGHT, BONEHEAD, GO TO CHICK-FIL-A FOR ALL I CARE!! BUT I'LL LAUGH EVEN HARDER IF YOU ASK THEM IF THEY SELL BURGERS AND THEY THROW THEIR MASCOT COW AT YOU!!!" he roared, closing the order window to plop on his butt and howl loudly in sweet revenge.

Kaoru just stared pitifully at his brother. Slowly getting up and walking over to him, Kaoru bent down and wrapped his arms around Hikaru's shoulder, tugging him onto his chest. He rubbed small circles on Hikaru's shoulder blades and nuzzled his cheek affectionately.

"You get so worked up over stupid things, baby," he murmured into the fluster boy's ear, gently biting it in a playful manner.

Hikaru blushed and sighed, moaning softly. Kaoru's hands worked wonders on tense muscles.

"Well maybe if people weren't so stupid..." he muttered, getting hushed by a rather suggestive looking Kaoru.

"Ah, but if people weren't stupid, then it would be harder to find an excuse to give you a massage," he purred, rubbing Hikaru shoulders gently but rough enough to sooth the rigidness.

Hikaru leaned into his brother touch and give a 'hmm' in agreement. Kaoru smirked and pressed soft kisses to Hikaru's now bare neck.

"I guess we'll have to get back to work now," he whispered, slowly pulling back his hands.

His smirk widened when his hands were snagged. Hikaru stared intently at Kaoru then rose to his feet, hastily picking up his brother and making his way towards the supplies room.

"No, it's break time."

---

"Kit-chan, it's your time to take over the drive threw. Tell the Hitachiin twins that they can leave early."

An older girl with cropped blonde hair turned towards the voice, blinking her wide eyes in confusion.

"Really? I thought I was supposed to take over later..." she said thoughtfully, carefully placing her hat over her hair so as not to be confused as a boy.

A girl with long dark hair peered around the corner and shrugged, tossing the blonde girl a sandwich.

"Dunno, boss said that not many people are coming in the drive threw. It's odd though, isn't it? I was working the front register when this lady came in and ordered, saying that nobody was in the drive threw window. But I know for a fact, Kaoru-kun wouldn't leave his post..." she stated as the girl called Kit began walking towards the order taking room.

"Maybe she was crazy," she grinned, laughing as her friend rolled her eyes and disappear around the corner.

'Though it is kind of weird...' she thought as she pried open the drive threw door, 'Then again, I'm new. I wouldn't know heads or tails about this place anyways...'

"Hey guys, boss said you can leave... early..." she paused, looking around the empty booth.

Confusion flashed across her eyes as she brilliantly decided to look under the cash register as if they could tuck themselves away in a cove about as small as a two year old. She cocked her head to one side then blinked upon hearing something clatter against the floor in the supplies closet. Odd... Finding herself oddly curious, Kit walked hesitantly towards the door, making out muffled laughs and other undeterminable sounds. Reaching for the door, as if pretending to be in a dramatic horror flick, Kit turned the knob and flung back the door. She gasped.

Both looking thoroughly disgruntled about being found, the twins stared up at her. Yes, up. Kaoru even had to look up upside-down for he was pinned against the ground by Hikaru who was just looking up. Kaoru's flustered cheeks and bruised lips gave away most of the tale... or maybe it was his uniform unbuttoned, completely revealing his smooth stomach which was adorned with various red welts. No, no... maybe it was the fact that his belt was in disarray as if someone were trying to take it off. WAIT! Maybe it was the fact that both of them had completely messed up hair! Or, maybe it was 'cause Hikaru's shirt was completely missing from existence... or that he had a hicky on his neck. No, it had to be the fact that Kaoru was trying to press himself closer to Hikaru by gripping him with trembling hands. Actually, it was probably more the fact that Kaoru had his legs wrapped around Hikaru's waist so that... well... let's just say they were touching in a slightly provocative manner. And they looked damn happy about doing so...

'Kinky,' was the only word floating around in Kit's otherwise empty noggin.

The two blinked and blushed, smiling and smirking as if thinking 'Ou, we totally got busted.' Instead of moving from their suggestive position, Kaoru just waved a hand around with a giant grin on his face.

"Welcome to Burger King! My name's Kaoru, how can I help you?"

_**---End, FINITO**_


End file.
